Published on and written by Cyril Jarnias
Moving to South Korea isn’t just about changing countries: it’s stepping into a social universe governed by subtle codes, inherited from Confucianism, the peninsula’s tumultuous history, and an ultra-connected modernity. Many expatriates underestimate these cultural gaps and discover on the ground that what seemed like a mere “detail”—the way to say no, address a superior, or offer a gift—can have a direct impact on their relationships, career, and even daily comfort.
This guide presents the main cultural differences to know before settling in South Korea. Its goal is to help avoid faux pas, gain Koreans’ trust more quickly, and understand the nuances in professional and private life.
Understanding the Pillars of Korean Culture
Before delving into concrete situations, it’s necessary to grasp a few key notions that structure Korean society. Without them, a large part of daily behaviors remains incomprehensible.
Confucianism, Collectivism, and Hierarchy
Modern Korean culture blends a globalized lifestyle with a foundation of traditional values that remain very influential. Confucianism holds a central place. It emphasizes:
– respect for elders and authority figures
– hierarchy in the family as well as in the company
– loyalty and hard work
– modesty and restraint
Korean society is strongly collectivist: the “we” (uri) often takes precedence over the “I.” Individuals are expected to adapt to the group, whether it be in the company, family, or a circle of friends. Maintaining collective harmony (inhwa) is a priority, sometimes at the expense of individual expression.
Another fundamental concept is that of *Kibun*, which refers to a person’s emotional state, dignity, and “face.” It is crucial to avoid anything that might humiliate, make someone uncomfortable, or break harmony. Guiding one’s behaviors to preserve good Kibun, for oneself and others, is a key to social interactions.
Nunchi, Jeong, and Han: The Korean Emotional Triptych
Three notions often described as “untranslatable” help to understand the Korean emotional life.
Nunchi (눈치) is the art of “reading the room”: picking up non-verbal signals, grasping what is not said, sensing the atmosphere, and adjusting one’s behavior. In a very “high-context” culture, where much information is conveyed through tone, silences, and looks, nunchi is a crucial social skill. Being perceived as “lacking nunchi” (nunchi eoptta) is one of the most severe criticisms.
Jeong (정) is a deep emotional bond, forged over time and shared experiences. It manifests, for example, when a restaurant owner spontaneously gives a regular customer a little extra, or when one maintains an attachment for a person despite a complicated relationship (miun jeong). This feeling is considered the emotional glue of many social relationships in Korea, including in the professional sphere.
Han (한) refers to a collective emotion of sadness, resentment, and resilience, nurtured by centuries of war, colonization, and division of the peninsula. This han is found in literature, film, traditional songs, and even in some contemporary social movements. It fuels powerful creativity, but also a particular sensitivity to injustice.
These three concepts – nunchi, jeong, han – are not abstract theories: they concretely influence how to communicate, close a deal, manage a conflict, or build relationships.
Saying Without Saying: The Korean Communication Style
For many Westerners, the first major difference in South Korea is communication. Where more direct cultures value clarity and frankness, Koreans prioritize nuance and the implicit.
A “High-Context” Culture
Communication in South Korea is said to be “high-context”: meaning is not only found in words, but in the situation, the relationship between speakers, tone, pauses, and gestures. A “yes” can mean “I understand,” not “I agree.” A “that’s a bit difficult” or “we’ll have to see” can be a polite no.
A recent study indicates that approximately 68% of young Korean adults prefer indirect approaches in their personal relationships.
For an expatriate, this means learning to watch for subtle signals: a discreet sigh, an evasive look, a phrase like “I’ll do my best” can actually mean “that’s not feasible”.
Saving Face and Preserving Gibun
The concept of Chemyeon (“face”) is similar to what is found in other East Asian cultures. Criticizing someone in public, contradicting them directly in front of their peers, questioning their skills in front of others—all of this is extremely delicate. Gibun (Kibun), that is, each person’s emotional balance, must be preserved.
This is particularly felt in how feedback is given or disagreements are managed. Negative remarks are often wrapped in compliments, slipped in privately, or phrased as a suggestion: “Perhaps we could also consider…”
Observation on communication in a professional setting
Studies on Korean couples also show the flip side of this coin: the more partners rely solely on implicit signals, the more relational satisfaction tends to decrease over time. Misunderstandings stemming from overly vague messages are common.
A Few Reflexes to Adopt
To adapt, an expatriate benefits from: informing themselves about the local culture, learning the language, establishing contacts with other expatriates, and remaining open to new experiences.
– softening their language: rather than “no,” using “that will be complicated” or “I’m not sure that’s possible”
– accepting silences without rushing to fill them
– observing body language, hesitations, tone
– understanding that insisting on getting a clear answer can be perceived as aggressive
In practice, it’s better to listen more than you speak at the beginning, and then ask a trusted colleague how to interpret certain reactions.
Age, Hierarchy, and Language: A Very Strict Social Architecture
If there’s one thing most expatriates underestimate, it’s the importance of age and rank in daily life. In South Korea, even a one-year difference can be enough to change how you address someone.
The Obsession with Age and the Notion of “Friend”
From the first meeting, the question “How old are you?” comes up very quickly. It’s not intrusive: it allows for situating the relationship. Two people born in the same year may consider each other true “friends” (chingu), using informal language (banmal) with each other. However, if an age gap exists, the relationship is immediately placed within a hierarchical dynamic: one will be the “older brother/sister” (oppa or hyeong), the other the “younger.”
In Korea, the term ‘friend’ has a much narrower scope than in many Western cultures. Great closeness with a person, even if they are older or younger, does not necessarily mean calling them ‘friend’ or using informal language with them.
Honorifics: A Sophisticated Linguistic System
The Korean language has a very elaborate honorific system that reflects social hierarchy. Several levels of speech are distinguished based on:
– the level of formality of the situation
– the status of the interlocutor
– the person being talked about
One speaks of jondaetmal for polite language. A level widely used in daily life is the -yo register (haeyo-che), perceived as polite but not excessively formal. For very institutional contexts, an even more formal register (hasipsio-che) is used, notably in public announcements and media. Informal language (banmal) is reserved for close friends or younger people, and its use generally requires explicit agreement.
Beyond verb endings, there are verbs, nouns, and particles of honorification. For example, “to eat” can be said differently depending on the person being talked about: meokda in neutral form, deusida or japsusida in a highly honorific form. It is strictly inappropriate to use these elevated forms for oneself, at the risk of appearing arrogant.
Not respecting politeness codes, such as using too familiar a tone with a superior or omitting the respectful suffix *-nim*, can be perceived as a lack of education, even for a foreigner.
The Place of Elders in Daily Life
The priority given to elders is not limited to language. It governs very concrete gestures and behaviors:
– on the subway, young people are expected to give up their seats for the elderly, pregnant, or disabled
– at the table, it’s the eldest who starts eating first, the eldest who is served first
– in a room, one stands up when a “senior” arrives
The notion of filial piety (gyeongrosasang) remains strong: taking care of one’s elderly parents is a moral duty, which also explains the low presence of elderly Koreans in nursing homes.
For an expatriate, adapting these reflexes – giving up one’s seat, letting elders speak first, receiving and giving with both hands – is a quick way to gain respect.
The World of Work: Hierarchy, Long Hours, and Unspoken Rules
South Korea is often cited for the power of its large industrial groups like Samsung, Hyundai, LG, or SK Group, chaebols that structure part of the economy and disseminate a certain management style.
A Strong Hierarchy, Even in Modern Companies
In most Korean companies, the structure remains very hierarchical. Decisions come from the top, long chains of validation are the norm, and respecting the chain of command is crucial. Bypassing one’s immediate superior to relay information directly to a higher-up is rarely appreciated.
A study by the Korea Labor Institute shows that over 80% of companies still prioritize seniority in promotions. Salary and responsibilities often increase with years of service. This can create tensions: highly educated young people sometimes struggle to be entrusted with responsibilities matching their technical skills.
Some tech or creative companies are experimenting with more horizontal models, but even there, the general culture of respect for seniority persists.
The Weight of Working Hours and “Pali-Pali”
South Korea’s reputation for long working days is not unfounded. The country regularly ranks among those with the highest annual hours worked per employee within the OECD. A reform capping the workweek at 52 hours (40 regular hours plus 12 overtime) was introduced to try to rebalance work and personal life. But in practice, prolonged presence at the office remains frequent, especially in large companies.
Understanding expectations regarding responsiveness and speed in the local professional context.
Swiftness in completing tasks is a central and expected value.
It is important to reply promptly to communications. A lack of response can sometimes signify a polite refusal.
Availability outside formal working hours is often a common practice.
A systematic lack of responsiveness will be perceived as a lack of seriousness and commitment.
Hoesik, Noraebang, and Alcohol: The “Second Day”
Team outings, company dinners (hoesik), and karaoke outings (noraebang) play a central role in building work relationships. It’s often around a barbecue washed down with soju that barriers loosen, superiors become more approachable, and trust is built.
Traditionally, refusing work-related social invitations could be perceived as a lack of commitment. Today, companies, influenced by criticism of excess and a generation more concerned with work-life balance, encourage more reasonable formats. For an expatriate, participating occasionally remains strategic for building connections.
It’s important to know a few rules: never pour your own drink, but fill others’ glasses (and let others fill yours), turn your head slightly and cover your mouth when drinking in front of a senior, avoid emptying your glass entirely if you don’t want a refill. If refusing to drink, a clear reason (medical, religious, etc.) will be more easily accepted.
Tensions and Evolutions: Work, Gender, Well-being
Korean work culture is today under strong pressure. The country combines long hours, low birth rate (among the lowest fertility rates in the world), stress, and phenomena of hierarchical harassment (gapjil). Several laws have been adopted to limit abuse, and large groups are launching well-being and mental health programs.
The issue of gender equality is also at the heart of debates. South Korea ranks among OECD countries with the most pronounced gender pay gap, and many women still perceive obstacles in promotions.
For expatriates, these issues are not theoretical: they influence office atmosphere, colleagues’ availability, and informal discussions.
The Politeness of Gesture: Greetings, Physical Contact, and Personal Space
Beyond the big concepts, it’s often the details of daily life that betray a lack of familiarity with local culture. Gestures harmless to a European or North American can be disturbing in Seoul.
Greeting, Shaking Hands, Bowing
The traditional greeting is the bow, deeper or shallower depending on the importance of the interlocutor. In a professional context, it’s very common to combine a slight bow with a handshake. The handshake should be relatively gentle; it is customary to support your right forearm with your left hand to show respect, especially to an elder or superior.
Women may prefer a simple nod accompanied by a smile. It is generally recommended to let the Korean person initiate physical contact, especially during a first meeting.
Physical Contact: Less Between Strangers, More Between Close Friends of the Same Sex
The Korean norm does not encourage physical contact between people who don’t know each other well, and even less between opposite sexes. A pat on the shoulder, a Western-style friendly “hug” can make people uncomfortable. Touching someone’s head, especially an adult’s, is perceived as very inappropriate.
On the other hand, between friends of the same sex, the register is much more tactile: arms linked, holding hands while walking, significant physical proximity. This should not be seen as a sign of a romantic relationship, but rather an expression of jeong.
In a professional context or with an older person, it is recommended to maintain an appropriate distance, avoid crossing legs ostentatiously, and adopt a formal posture, for example by avoiding putting hands in pockets.
Personal Space and Urban Density
With a metropolis like Seoul exceeding 25 million inhabitants in its region, daily life involves high density. On the subway during rush hour, in some markets, crowding is extreme. Jostling is generally not perceived as a personal aggression, but as an inevitable consequence of the crowd.
However, in a social interaction – discussion, meeting, appointment – excessively encroaching on the other’s space, talking too close, or touching unnecessarily is seen as intrusive. Here we find Koreans’ ability to “live close together” in silence and restraint: on a crowded subway platform, each person makes themselves discreet, avoids loud voices, and respects the “invisible bubble” of their neighbors.
Eating, Drinking, Being Invited: Everyday Protocol
Meals and drinks are at the heart of interactions in South Korea, and the etiquette surrounding them is rich. Conforming to it is a simple way to show respect and a willingness to integrate.
At the Table: Order, Gestures, and Taboos
A typical Korean meal is characterized by sharing: several dishes in the center of the table, accompanied by many small plates of banchan (kimchi, marinated vegetables, etc.). One doesn’t really “own” their dish; they nibble here and there.
Wait for the oldest or highest-ranking person to start eating. Avoid disgusting topics and blowing your nose at the table. Use the spoon for rice and soups, chopsticks for the rest. Never stick your chopsticks upright in a rice bowl, as it evokes funeral rites. Rest them on the table or a chopstick rest, not on the bowl.
At the end of the meal, a thank you phrase – jal meogeosseumnida (“I ate well”) – is often used to thank the person who paid or prepared the meal.
The Alcohol Ritual
Alcohol, especially soju, is omnipresent in work and family dinners. The first principle: you don’t pour your own drink. You fill your neighbors’ glasses, starting with the elders. When receiving a drink, hold it with two hands and turn slightly to drink if the person pouring is older or of higher status.
In a social context, an empty glass is often automatically refilled. To moderate consumption, it’s advisable to keep your glass partially full. Refusing a drink without explanation can be poorly perceived. It’s better to calmly justify your refusal, for example for medical or religious reasons, which is generally respected.
Visiting a Korean Home
Being invited to someone’s home is a sign of trust. Remove your shoes at the entrance, sometimes to put on slippers. Arriving empty-handed would be frowned upon: one usually brings fruit, cake, drinks, or a small product from one’s home country.
Once again, let the host or the eldest person sit first and start the meal. Observation remains the best compass: watch how others do it before acting.
Giving and Receiving: The Art of Gift-Giving in South Korea
The culture of gift-giving is particularly developed in South Korea, both in private and professional spheres. It follows logics of respect, reciprocity, and maintaining the bond.
Values, Codes, and Faux Pas to Avoid
Giving a gift is to show attention, acknowledge a relationship, and sometimes thank for a service rendered. But this gesture almost always creates an obligation of reciprocity. A present that is too expensive may embarrass the recipient, who will feel obligated to return a gift of comparable value.
The intention and relevance often count more than the price. A product from your home country, a nice food item, or a handicraft are generally well received.
Some choices, however, are inadvisable:
– sharp objects (knives, scissors), perceived as potentially “cutting” the relationship
– sets of four items, as the number 4 evokes death
– green hats, associated with a spouse’s infidelity
– using red ink to write a name, linked to the world of the dead
In general, gifts are offered and received with both hands. It’s common for the person not to open them immediately, especially in a formal context, to avoid creating awkwardness if the value doesn’t meet expectations.
Key Gift Occasions
Certain holidays and events are almost systematically accompanied by presents. For an expatriate, understanding these moments avoids a lot of uncertainty.
Here is a synthetic overview of some major occasions and their typical gifts:
| Occasion | Most Common Type of Gift | Cultural Particularities |
|---|---|---|
| Wedding | Cash in an envelope | Amount adjusted to the relationship (50,000 to 100,000 KRW and more for close relations) |
| Funeral | Cash | Variable amount, gesture of support for the family |
| Child’s First Birthday | Cash, clothes, gold rings, utensils | Very symbolic doljanchi celebration, fortune-telling game for the child’s future |
| 60/70/80 Year Birthdays | Cash, health products (ginseng), alcohol, food baskets | Celebrations marking longevity and filial respect |
| Housewarming (jip-deu-ri) | Toilet paper, laundry detergent, household products, fruit, flowers | Toilet paper symbolizes that everything will “go smoothly” |
| Chuseok & Seollal | Gift sets of fruit, high-quality beef, Spam sets, oil, skincare | Priority given to parents, in-laws, bosses, teachers |
| Christmas | Cosmetics, couple clothing, toys for children | More of a romantic than strictly family holiday |
| Parents’ Day / Teachers’ Day | Flowers (carnations), small symbolic gifts | Gifts for teachers regulated by anti-corruption law |
Expenses for certain holidays can be significant. Recent studies indicate that Koreans spend on average several hundred thousand won on Chuseok gifts, with higher amounts for parents and in-laws.
Workplace Gifts and Anti-Corruption Laws
In a company, gifts serve to mark personal events (weddings, births, funerals) or career events (promotions, departures). It’s common, for example, to offer rice cakes to colleagues to announce a wedding or the birth of a child.
The ‘Kim Young-ran’ law strictly governs the acceptance of gifts in public sectors to prevent corruption and conflicts of interest.
The law applies to civil servants, elected officials, teachers, and journalists, as well as their spouses.
The value of a gift or meal must generally not exceed 50,000 won (approximately 35 euros).
To eliminate disguised bribes and maintain integrity and trust in public services.
– gifts given openly with a value under 30,000 KRW are generally permitted
– beyond 100,000 KRW, disciplinary risk is serious
For teachers, offering a tea or biscuit set to be shared in the teachers’ lounge, rather than an individual gift, allows one to respect the spirit of the law while showing appreciation.
For a newcomer, it’s wise to ask colleagues about the company’s habits, as each organization develops its own “gift culture.”
Not Leaving (Too Much of) a Tip: The Relationship to Money and Service
Another frequent surprise for expatriates: tipping is not an established practice in South Korea. Leaving money on the table after a meal can even put the server in an awkward position, and may be perceived as a way of “paying for” their kindness.
Displayed prices generally include taxes and, often, service charges. It is not systematically expected to leave a tip, even in upscale establishments like hotels or fine dining restaurants.
The only situations where a financial gesture is sometimes accepted:
– in certain hair salons or beauty salons, as a discreet small bill
– in a taxi, in the form of “keep the change”
– in restaurants located on U.S. military bases, where the American tipping norm applies
For movers or delivery people, offering drinks, snacks, or even a small envelope for lunch is often more appropriate than an explicit “tip.”
Holidays and Public Holidays: When the Country Changes Pace
South Korea has a number of public holidays comparable to European countries, but two of them have a massive impact on daily life: Seollal (Lunar New Year) and Chuseok (Harvest Festival, often described as the equivalent of Thanksgiving).
Seollal: New Year, New Age
During Seollal, families gather en masse. Millions of people leave Seoul to return to their parents’ hometown. Result: monstrous traffic jams on roads, trains and buses full, flights saturated, shops closed in residential neighborhoods.
Korean New Year (Seollal) celebrations include ancestral memorial ceremonies (charye), wearing the traditional hanbok costume for some, and sharing the emblematic dish tteokguk, a rice cake soup. Eating this dish symbolizes “gaining one more year,” to the point that the phrase “How many bowls of tteokguk have you eaten?” is commonly used to politely ask someone’s age.
For an expatriate, these days paradoxically offer a sometimes surprisingly calm city, provided you stay in Seoul rather than try to travel. Many cultural sites can then be visited in an almost tranquil atmosphere.
Chuseok: Gratitude and Mass Movements
Chuseok follows the same pattern of great migrations, but in autumn. Families visit their ancestors’ graves, tend to the tombs, prepare seasonal dishes like songpyeon (half-moon rice cakes steamed on pine needles). Stores overflow with gift sets: luxury fruit, high-grade Korean beef, sets of food or cosmetic products.
For businesses and expatriates, the periods of Lunar New Year and National Foundation Day (Golden Week) lead to a general slowdown in activity and the closure of many offices. It is crucial to plan logistics in advance and avoid scheduling important meetings or last-minute administrative procedures during these celebrations.
Other Significant Days
Other public holidays structure the year, such as Children’s Day, Constitution Day, National Foundation Day, Hangul Day (Korean Alphabet Day) or Christmas, experienced more as a romantic or commercial holiday than a strictly religious one.
For expatriates working with Korean partners from abroad, knowing this calendar allows them to anticipate periods of slower response and mass holidays.
Social Life, Love, and “Couple Culture”
South Korea has a genuine “couple culture”: several calendar dates have become occasions to celebrate one’s relationship, beyond traditional anniversaries or Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day, White Day, and Other “Couples’ Days”
On February 14th, it’s women who give chocolates or flowers to men. One month later, on March 14th, White Day, men “return” the attention with candy, chocolates, or sweet gifts. These two days are just the visible part of a multitude of marketed “couple days,” where it’s almost expected to post photos on social media.
This is the percentage of smartphone owners in South Korea who use the messaging app KakaoTalk.
Indirectness and Romanticism: A Puzzling Mix
Studies show that the more a Korean couple relies exclusively on implicit messages, the more the risk of misunderstandings increases. Yet, many continue to favor this route to avoid hurting the other or ruining the mood.
For an expatriate engaged in a romantic relationship with a Korean, accepting this game of signals – where an “it’s fine, don’t worry” can mean “I’m upset” – is a real challenge. The key is to combine an effort to listen to the non-verbal with setting up moments for slightly more explicit discussion about each person’s feelings.
Urban Habits and Small Daily Culture Shocks
Certain practices surprise at first, but quickly become familiar.
The Role of Toilet Paper
Toilet paper, for example, is used for multiple purposes: improvised napkins, tissues, cloths. Giving it as a housewarming gift is therefore not weird at all; on the contrary, it’s a symbol of fluidity and good fortune.
Behavior in Public Spaces
On the subway, talking loudly on the phone, eating or drinking while walking may be frowned upon, especially by older generations. Blowing your nose loudly in public is considered rude; sniffing is paradoxically more tolerated. Applying makeup in a very conspicuous manner on public transport is also best avoided, as it remains somewhat controversial for some.
In South Korea, queues are generally respected. However, a persistent stereotype surrounds *ajummas* (middle-aged women), often described as determined and ready to push their way through at all costs, which fuels a cliché about their behavior in lines.
Gestures to Avoid
Simple Western reflexes need to be corrected:
– pointing with a finger at someone or something is considered impolite: use the whole hand, palm facing up
– writing a living person’s name in red is a major taboo
– crossing legs in too relaxed a manner in front of a superior can be seen as disrespectful
These details, accumulated, shape the image an expatriate projects.
Strategies for Integrating Well in South Korea
Faced with this multitude of codes and nuances, the goal is not to achieve perfection but to show sincere effort.
A few structuring approaches can guide expatriates.
Observe, Ask, Adjust
The first skill to develop resembles a form of nunchi applied to interculturalism: observe before acting, note how colleagues greet each other, sit down in meetings, interact with their superiors.
Asking questions to a trusted colleague (“In that case, what’s considered polite here?”) helps avoid recurring misunderstandings. Koreans generally appreciate when a foreigner shows curiosity about their customs (and doesn’t just judge).
Learn a Few Words and Respect Hierarchies
Mastering a few basic Korean expressions – polite phrases, greetings, thank-yous – has a disproportionate effect on the perception you give. Knowing how to say annyeonghaseyo correctly, using -nim after a title, or replying with a polite phrase at a restaurant signals that you’re not content to live “in an expat bubble.”
To avoid tension, it’s important to explicitly acknowledge the role of hierarchy. This involves not bluntly contradicting a superior in public, valuing the work of a senior, and prioritizing the use of professional titles rather than first names when addressing superiors.
Accept What Won’t Change… and What Is Changing
Certain characteristics of Korean society – strong hierarchy, the importance of elders, the centrality of overtime – won’t disappear overnight. The younger generations are challenging, certainly, but change is gradual.
Korean society is evolving rapidly with a redefinition of gender models, increased sensitivity among youth to personal space, a trend to refuse overly boozy outings, and stronger criticism of power abuse. For an expatriate, this translates into very diverse attitudes depending on social circles, regions, sectors of activity, and generations.
Build a Local Network
Finally, nothing replaces building a network of Korean relationships: colleagues, neighbors, language exchange partners, members of associations or groups with common interests. It is through these bonds, nurtured with jeong, that one truly discovers South Korea beyond clichés – and moves beyond the simple status of a “tolerated” foreigner to become a full-fledged actor in local life.
Moving to South Korea is learning to decipher a system of signs where every silence, every bow of the head, every gift has its value. Those who take the time to master these codes often find, behind the sometimes rigid facade of hierarchy and reserve, a society of remarkable human warmth, where loyalty and lasting bonds continue to matter enormously.
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Cyril Jarnias is an independent expert in international wealth management with over 20 years of experience. As an expatriate himself, he is dedicated to helping individuals and business leaders build, protect, and pass on their wealth with complete peace of mind.
On his website, cyriljarnias.com, he shares his expertise on international real estate, offshore company formation, and expatriation.
Thanks to his expertise, he offers sound advice to optimize his clients' wealth management. Cyril Jarnias is also recognized for his appearances in many prestigious media outlets such as BFM Business, les Français de l’étranger, Le Figaro, Les Echos, and Mieux vivre votre argent, where he shares his knowledge and know-how in wealth management.
