Published on and written by Cyril Jarnias
Moving to the UK is about more than just a change in climate and currency. It also means entering a world of unspoken codes, deeply ingrained social conventions, and everyday habits that can surprise even seasoned travelers. Behind a reputation for politeness and reserve, British society is built on cultural norms that are sometimes very different from those in French-speaking countries.
Before settling in the UK, it is crucial to familiarize yourself with local specifics for successful integration. This covers many aspects of daily life: social codes (like table manners), sense of humor, advertising, the healthcare system, the world of work, and transport. Taking the time to understand these differences will help you avoid misunderstandings, unintentional faux pas, and moments of isolation.
Politeness, Reserve, and Everyday Communication
The UK is often described as a liberal and tolerant society, but also one very attached to discretion and restraint. This is felt from the very first exchanges, whether with a neighbor, a colleague, or a shopkeeper.
In the UK, communication favors indirectness and nuance. Openly criticizing, asking overly personal questions, or expressing strong emotions in public is often considered inappropriate. Brits tend to soften disagreements and formulate criticism with great politeness. For example, a phrase like “That’s an interesting idea,” depending on the tone used, can politely mean “I’m not at all convinced,” thus serving to express disagreement without direct confrontation.
Body language remains measured: people maintain a distance of about an arm’s length, avoid broad gestures, and do not spontaneously touch their interlocutors. Even smiling is measured: smiling slightly and occasionally is well-regarded, but a broad, permanent smile can seem artificial.
In formal exchanges (letters, professional emails), greetings and courtesy formulas are important. One generally starts with “Dear [Name]” and concludes with “Kind regards,” “Best wishes,” or, in more official letters, “Yours sincerely” / “Yours faithfully“.
The Art of Queuing: A Pillar of Public Life
For an expat, few things symbolize British etiquette as much as queuing. Waiting one’s turn in an orderly fashion is almost an identity marker, an extension of values like respect, fairness, and patience.
In public places, cutting in line (queue-jumping) is socially unacceptable, an act often met with remarks or disapproving looks. It is also customary to maintain a reasonable distance from the person in front of you, so as not to bother them or create confusion about the actual length of the queue.
It is accepted that someone might hold a place for one additional person, but holding the place for a whole group is felt to be unfair. In case of confusion, the standard phrase remains very polite: “I’m so sorry, I’m in the queue – you’ll find the end over there.”
British Humor: Subtle, Ironic, and… Disconcerting
For many newcomers, humor is both what fascinates most about the UK… and what disconcerts the most. It is a social glue, omnipresent in daily life, at work as well as among friends.
British humor relies heavily on irony, understatement, ridicule, and especially self-deprecation. People willingly make fun of themselves, their failures, their clumsiness, before possibly teasing others. This “self-deprecation” is a way to avoid appearing arrogant and to create complicity.
British humor often uses a deadpan tone: jokes are delivered with a serious face, which can make them hard to detect for a French speaker. A sarcastic remark can seem hurtful if you don’t perceive the double meaning. However, in many friendly or professional contexts, this sarcasm is a sign of closeness. ‘Banter’, a verbal joust where people tease each other gently, is common among friends or within work teams.
This register also includes a taste for the absurd, dark humor, innuendo (sometimes sexual), and a great tolerance for taboo subjects… provided you master the context and tone. In a professional setting or with people you don’t know well, it’s better to be cautious, favor light humor, self-deprecation, and observe before jumping in.
Morals, Society, and Cultural Diversity
Today’s United Kingdom is a multicultural society, marked by successive waves of immigration. This is reflected in cuisine, language, neighborhoods, but also in public debates about discrimination, equality, and welcoming refugees.
The values emphasized are tolerance, fair-play, a rather liberal view of relationships (relatively high acceptance of homosexuality, divorce, or relationships outside marriage) and a certain stoicism – the famous “stiff upper lip,” that emotional reserve valued during difficult times.
The question of social class, however, remains very present. Many Britons still define themselves as ‘working class’ or ‘middle class’, with associated codes, references, and sometimes accents. Speaking with a ‘standard’ accent (Received Pronunciation) can still facilitate access to certain circles, even though the media and social landscape has diversified considerably.
Observer of British society
Religiously, the country remains majority Christian, but the proportion of people with no religion is increasing, as is the visibility of Islam, Hinduism, and other faiths, depending on the region.
Accents, Dialects, and Linguistic Shock
Imagining there is “one” British accent is a classic mistake. The UK is one of the English-speaking countries with the most marked accent diversity: Cockney in London, Scouse in Liverpool, Geordie in Newcastle, Brummie in Birmingham, Scottish, Welsh, Northern Irish… Not to mention local variants just a few dozen kilometers apart.
Received Pronunciation and “Standard” Accent
Received Pronunciation (RP), sometimes called “Queen’s English” or “BBC English“, remains the reference accent in textbooks. It is traditionally associated with southeast England, the upper-middle classes, and elite private education. In reality, only a small fraction of the population speaks it as a native accent.
It is characterized by two major phonetic traits: non-rhoticity and the vowel distinction between words like ‘bath’ and ‘trap’.
A Mosaic of Regional Accents
In the south of England, you’ll encounter the popular Cockney of the East End, with its glottal stops and rhyming slang, Estuary English which mixes RP and Cockney around the Thames, or multicultural English, shaped by immigrant communities, particularly in London.
Presentation of some characteristic features and notable examples of Northern English accents, renowned for their phonetic specificities.
In most Northern accents, the ‘a’ in words like ‘bath’ remains short, unlike in standard English (RP) where it is lengthened.
These accents tend to distinguish less between certain vowel sounds that are clearly separate in Received Pronunciation (RP).
Accent from Liverpool, heavily influenced by Irish immigration. Notoriously difficult to understand for the uninitiated.
Accent from Newcastle and the Tyneside region. Considered one of the most distinctive and challenging accents to grasp initially.
In Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland, English is shaped by local languages (Scots, Gaelic, Welsh, Irish), which influences vocabulary, intonation, and pronunciation. A Scot, for example, might say “yous” for the plural of “you,” a Welsh person might talk about a “cwtch” for a hug, and a Northern Irish speaker will drastically shorten “Northern Irish”.
For a newcomer, the key is to accept that you won’t understand everything immediately, to ask for repetition without embarrassment, and to let your ear get accustomed. Brits are generally proud of their accent and delighted to talk about it if asked with curiosity.
Table Manners: The Essential Codes
Good table manners occupy a central place in British culture. They are inculcated very early and perceived as a silent test of “good breeding.”
Invitations, RSVP, and Punctuality
When you are invited to dinner, an “RSVP” on the card is not decorative: you must reply. Not responding at all is considered very rude. For formal events (weddings, receptions), a written reply is expected before the deadline and, once you have accepted, backing out without a serious reason is very poorly viewed.
Punctuality matters more than one might think: for a dinner, try to arrive on time or within 10–15 minutes after, but no later. Arriving significantly late without notice is a faux pas, as is arriving too early while the host is still in full preparation.
Dressing for the Occasion
The implicit principle: it’s better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed. Invitations may mention a dress code ranging from very formal (White Tie, Black Tie) to more relaxed (Lounge Suit). In most cases, avoid flip-flops, shorts, baseball caps, or sportswear. For women’s attire, modesty remains the norm in family or professional contexts.
Gift for the Host and Welcome Drinks
Bringing a small gift when invited to someone’s home is expected: a bottle of wine, chocolates, nuts, a small homemade product work well. Flowers are trickier: a bouquet to be put in a vase immediately can create logistical stress for the host. An appreciated solution is to have a floral arrangement delivered the day before or the day after.
Upon arrival, the host generally offers a drink immediately, not necessarily because they think you are thirsty, but as a mark of attention. It could be water, tea, beer, soda, or a dry aperitif (Champagne, gin and tonic, etc.).
Handling Cutlery and Basic Rules
The British/European way is to hold the fork in the left hand, tines down, the knife in the right, without switching hands. Cut food one bite at a time and avoid “shoveling” food with the fork. The knife is used to gently push food onto the tines of the fork.
To use cutlery correctly, start with the utensils farthest from your plate. When pausing, place them in the ‘resting position’ on the plate. Once the meal is finished, align them parallel in the center of the plate to signal to the server that you are done.
Bread, Soup, Hot Drinks, and Tablecloth
Bread rolls are not cut with a knife; they are broken by hand into pieces. Butter only the piece you are about to eat. Soup is eaten by tilting the bowl slightly away from you and bringing the spoon outward, without blowing on it.
Tea and coffee are not drunk from the spoon: stir, put the spoon down, then drink. The napkin is placed on the lap as soon as you sit down, is not tucked into the shirt collar or belt, and is not used as a handkerchief or dishcloth. At the end of the meal, leave it loosely folded to the left of the plate.
Conversation, Phone, and Posture
Around the table, favor light topics: weather, television, travel, food, sport… Political or religious debates may arise, but it’s better to let others open them. Avoid intrusive questions about money, private life, religion, weight, or family situation.
The phone should be put away or on silent mode. Photographing dishes, scrolling, or constantly responding to messages is very poorly perceived. For an urgent call, apologize and step away from the table.
Posture matters: no elbows on the table when dishes are served, no tilting the chair backward, avoid leaning or slouching. Keep your hands on your lap when not eating, do not fix your hair or apply makeup at the table, and, in most contexts, do not smoke during the meal.
Tipping and the Bill
In restaurants, tipping is not as systematic as in North America, but it remains common. If no “service charge” is mentioned on the bill, people often leave between 10 and 12.5 % of the total. In pubs, you generally don’t leave a tip for a simple drink.
The unwritten rule is that the person who invites pays, and one avoids arguing over the bill in front of the server. If sharing, it is good form to split simply (equally) or use an app, rather than quibbling over every item.
Pub Culture: Understanding the Brits’ Collective Living Room
To integrate into the UK, understanding pub culture is almost as important as mastering everyday English. These “public houses” have been for centuries places of socialization, meetings, debates, and even, in the past, official decision-making.
The Pub, a “Second Home”
People often talk about their “local“, that neighborhood pub where they have their habits. You go there to drink, obviously, but also to chat, watch a game, play darts, take part in a quiz, or simply get out of the house. Modern pubs range from the small village establishment to the city-center chain, via gastropubs that serve refined cuisine.
Many pubs have a long history, with names inherited from royalty, battles, or heraldic symbols (“The Red Lion”, “The Crown”, etc.). Behind this tradition, the economic reality is more fragile: thousands of pubs have closed since the beginning of the 21st century.
Ordering at the Bar and Respecting the Implicit Order
Unlike in many countries, there is no (or very little) table service in a pub. You get up, go to the bar, order, and pay on the spot. The whole group doesn’t crowd the counter: one or two people are enough to represent everyone.
In some bars, the queue is implicit and managed by the bartender. It is very bad form to attract attention with big gestures, shouts, or by snapping your fingers. Wait for a look or a discreet signal from the server. If you notice someone was there before you, it is polite to point them out to the bartender.
The “Rounds” System
Another key point: “rounds”. It is customary, in a group, for each person to successively buy a round for everyone. Enjoying others’ rounds without ever buying your own is a sure way to get a bad reputation. It is accepted that one can opt out of the system (for example, if you drink much less or not at all), but you need to say so clearly.
Avoid systematically ordering the most expensive drink when it’s not your turn to pay, or slipping away when it’s time to settle a round. It’s also important to know that social pressure to consume alcohol, although present in some groups, is increasingly questioned. Refusing an alcoholic drink or moderating your consumption should not be a problem if stated calmly and clearly.
Drinks, Measures, and Alternatives
Beers are served in pints (a little over half a liter) or half-pints. The term “beer” is too vague for an order: specify lager, ale, stout, IPA, etc. It is perfectly common to ask for a small sample to taste before choosing. Cider made from apples (or pears for perry) holds a special place, especially in certain regions.
Wines are served in glasses of various sizes and spirits in standard measures of 25 ml or 35 ml. Non-alcoholic drinks (sodas, juice, coffee, tea) are available everywhere. Many pubs also offer a wide range of non-alcoholic beers or cocktails, allowing you to participate in social life without consuming alcohol.
Tipping, Hours, and Atmosphere
In a pub, leaving a tip is neither automatic nor expected. The traditional form is rather to say “and one for yourself?” when paying, which means you are offering the bartender a drink (they will then usually take the value of a small drink added to the bill).
Opening hours remain relatively strict: many pubs close around 11 PM, sometimes midnight on weekends. Last orders are announced about twenty minutes before closing; you then have a short period to finish your drink before having to leave.
The atmosphere must be respected: a quiet neighborhood pub is not the place for shouting, filming everyone, or imposing your music on a speaker. No smoking inside, avoid excessive phone noise, and do not film or photograph staff without their consent.
Eating in the UK: Much More Than “Fish and Chips”
The reputation of British cuisine has long suffered abroad, but the contemporary reality is much more nuanced. The country combines a tradition of hearty dishes (roasts, pies, puddings) with a very cosmopolitan food scene.
Traditional Cuisine and Iconic Dishes
Some dishes are true institutions. Fish and chips – battered fried fish with fries – remains a classic, as does the “Sunday roast“, the Sunday roast served with potatoes, vegetables, gravy, and Yorkshire pudding.
In pubs, you’ll find iconic dishes like ‘bangers and mash’ (sausages and mash), pies filled with beef in beer, shepherd’s or cottage pies (minced meat topped with mashed potatoes), or scampi and chips. The ‘full English breakfast’ is also a complete meal including eggs, bacon, sausages, beans, mushrooms, tomato, toast, and sometimes black pudding.
Traditional desserts – sticky toffee pudding, treacle tart, steamed puddings – reflect a cuisine designed to be filling in a damp and cool climate.
A Very International Scene
Multiculturalism is visible on the plate. Indian curries, Chinese, Italian, Thai, Turkish, Mexican, or Japanese restaurants are now part of the daily landscape. The famous chicken tikka masala is often presented as the “unofficial national dish,” it is so popular.
For many households, eating out is still considered a treat or a special occasion. This perception persists despite the normalization of deliveries and fast food, particularly in big cities.
Tea, “Afternoon Tea,” and Alcohol
The hot drink par excellence remains black tea with milk. In the workplace, offering to make tea or coffee for colleagues is a mark of sociability. “Afternoon tea” with scones, finger sandwiches, and pastries, served in some hotels or tea rooms, is a cultural experience in its own right.
Regarding alcohol, consumption remains significant even though the proportion of non-drinkers is increasing, especially among young people. Brits readily talk about binge drinking, but alcohol is also heavily regulated (hours, ID checks, public health campaigns).
Working in the UK: Flexible Hierarchy, Firm Politeness
The United Kingdom attracts many expats for professional reasons. Its work culture mixes tradition and modernity: a generally informal environment on the surface, but where unspoken rules remain strong.
Hours, Work-Life Balance, and Flexibility
The classic pattern remains a 40-hour week, roughly 9 AM–5 PM, Monday to Friday. In practice, the average working week is around 36–37 hours, with a legal maximum of 48 hours per week (with exceptions). The law guarantees 5.6 weeks of paid leave per year for a full-time employee, which often includes public holidays.
Since the pandemic, flexible and hybrid work has developed strongly. Many companies accept partial remote work and the possibility of adjusting one’s hours. The majority of employers recognize the importance of flexibility to attract and retain talent, in a context where mental health and burnout issues are taken increasingly seriously.
Hierarchy, Decisions, and Management Style
Most organizations retain a clear hierarchical structure: managers and senior leadership have the final say on major decisions, but they willingly seek the opinion of teams, especially in creative or service sectors.
Managers must combine leadership, organization, decision-making, and maintaining good team cohesion. Collaborative work is favored, and employees who value collective success rather than individual performance are particularly appreciated.
This does not prevent very real forms of power: openly criticizing a superior in a meeting, publicly contesting an instruction, or adopting too direct a tone can be poorly received. The art lies in formulating disagreements in the form of questions, suggestions (“Perhaps we could consider…”), or diplomatic reservations.
Meetings, Emails, and Professional Communication
Meetings generally follow a pre-defined agenda. They often begin with short small talk (weather, weekend, sport) before getting to the heart of the matter. Avoid monopolizing the conversation, do not interrupt your interlocutors, and observe an implicit order where more senior people speak first or conclude.
After the meeting, it is common to send minutes summarizing the decisions made and actions to be taken. Written traceability is important: many things are confirmed by email to minimize misunderstandings.
Professional email writing should be polished: use formal salutations, a courteous tone, clear sentences, and impeccable spelling. Avoid technical Anglicisms and excessive jargon, especially for a first contact. It is recommended to reply within 24 hours on business days, even if just to acknowledge receipt.
Diversity, Equality, and Office Humor
Large companies highlight their policies on diversity, equity, and inclusion. Legislation prohibits discrimination based on gender, origin, religion, sexual orientation, etc., and requires employers to provide a safe environment, particularly in the wake of the #MeToo movement.
In practice, inequalities persist (gender pay gap, less access to promotions, high cost of childcare), but the subject is widely discussed and documented. Employees are encouraged to report discrimination through internal procedures, unions, or specialized bodies.
Humor is an integral part of professional life. It serves to relax, strengthen cohesion, and even convey a message. Self-deprecation is the safest register. Sarcasm directed at others, however, can be misinterpreted by an expat and should never target appearance, family, religion, or sensitive personal characteristics.
Holidays, Public Holidays, and Social Life
Public holidays in the United Kingdom are called “bank holidays“. Their number and exact dates vary by nation (England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland). They structure the year but do not automatically correspond to additional paid leave: it all depends on employment contracts.
Many Britons take leave to create ‘long weekends’ around public holidays. These periods are often associated with important cultural events, such as Christmas and its traditional roast dinner, Easter with its chocolate eggs, Bonfire Night (November 5th), or Remembrance Sunday. Regional national holidays, like St. Patrick’s Day (Ireland), St. David’s Day (Wales), and St. Andrew’s Day (Scotland), are also significant occasions.
Social life unfolds largely in public spaces: pubs, cafes, parks, sporting events, concerts, cinemas. Inviting someone to your home quickly is not systematic: friendships are often formed around shared activities (sports, clubs, outings), which can surprise expats used to quicker domestic invitations.
Healthcare: Decoding the NHS and Cultural Expectations
The British healthcare system, the National Health Service (NHS), is a central element of daily life and a permanent subject of public debate. It operates on the principle of free care at the point of use for residents, funded by taxes.
Registering and Using the System
To access most services, you must register with a General Practitioner (GP). This registration gives you an NHS number and makes the GP your primary contact for non-urgent issues. Consultations are short (about 8–10 minutes) and act as a filter: to see a specialist, you generally need a referral letter from the GP.
For a life-threatening emergency, dial 999. For an urgent but non-life-threatening problem, call 111 or use their website. For everyday minor ailments, you can go to a pharmacy or a walk-in center.
What is Free, What Isn’t
For residents meeting the criteria, most medical care is covered. However, some areas are chargeable or partially chargeable, such as prescriptions in England, dental care, or optics, with many exceptions (children, pregnant women, low incomes, certain conditions).
To reduce wait times for specialist consultations or for certain non-urgent treatments, a portion of the population and expats opt for private health insurance. This option often allows for quicker appointments, access to private rooms, and a wider choice of specialists, in exchange for sometimes high annual premiums.
Expectations and Perceptions
The NHS is both a source of national pride and the target of recurring criticism. Many Brits complain about wait times and lack of resources, while considering the very principle of a universal public system as non-negotiable.
For an expat from a country with a strong culture of immediate recourse to specialists or direct access to emergency rooms, the logic of triage by the GP can be disconcerting. Adapting involves accepting this filter, anticipating non-urgent needs, and, if you have the means, considering private top-up insurance.
Transport, Travel, and Codes of Conduct
The UK has a dense public transport network, but it is uneven across regions. The car remains dominant outside major cities, while London and a few major cities rely heavily on rail and bus systems.
Train, Tube, Bus, and Travel Cards
The rail network connects major cities and a multitude of towns. The London Underground (the “Tube”), one of the oldest in the world, forms the backbone of travel in the capital, complemented by the famous red buses, the DLR, suburban trains, and trams.
Travel fares can be paid in cash, by contactless bank card, by phone, or via prepaid cards like the Oyster in London. Significant discounts are available through season tickets, Railcards, student passes, as well as senior or disabled person cards.
Fares, especially for trains, are often surprising in their high level compared to other European countries. Buying tickets in advance, using “split-ticketing” apps, or taking advantage of off-peak hours are common strategies to reduce the cost.
Etiquette on Public Transport
Public transport is an extension of queuing culture and discretion. Let passengers get off before boarding, give up your seat to the elderly, pregnant, or those with reduced mobility, and avoid overly loud conversations.
Music is for headphones, phone calls are brief and discreet, and quiet zones on trains are respected. Aggressive, intrusive, or noisy behavior is very poorly tolerated, especially during rush hour.
What an Expat Really Needs to Keep in Mind
Moving to the UK means accepting entry into a society that values politeness, restraint, and respect for unspoken rules. This involves very concrete details: not cutting in line, replying to invitations, saying “please,” “thank you,” and “sorry” more often than you would elsewhere, dressing with the context in mind, moderating your volume in public, or learning to read between the lines in professional emails.
To make these differences clearer, a few summary tables can help establish key points of reference.
Politeness and Communication: Some Useful Contrasts
| Aspect | Common Practice in the UK | Risk of Misunderstanding for a French Speaker |
|---|---|---|
| Saying “sorry” | Very frequent, even without real fault | Can seem excessive or ironic |
| Criticism / Disagreement | Expressed indirectly, through hints | The real message may go unnoticed |
| Small talk | Almost systematic at the start of an exchange (weather, weekend, sport) | May be taken for unnecessary chatter |
| Personal questions | Avoided (income, religion, politics, private life) | Asking these questions can seem intrusive |
| Strong emotions in public | Generally frowned upon | Risk of seeming “dramatic” or unprofessional |
At the Table: Gestures That Work and Gestures to Avoid
| Situation | Expected Behavior in the UK | Absolutely Avoid |
|---|---|---|
| Phone use | Put away, silent, limited and discreet use | Filming every dish, continuously responding to messages |
| Bread and butter | Break by hand, butter piece by piece | Cutting with a knife, buttering the whole roll at once |
| Cutlery | Fork in left hand, knife in right hand, no switching | Putting the knife in your mouth, “shoveling” with the fork |
| Start of the meal | Wait until all are served and/or the host’s signal | Serving yourself and starting to eat first |
| Voice and posture | Moderate tone, upright posture, no elbows on the table | Speaking loudly, slouching, rocking on the chair |
Pub: Essential Codes to Avoid Looking Like a Lost Tourist
| Situation | What’s Done | What Shocks |
|---|---|---|
| Ordering | Go to the bar, wait your turn, know your order | Snapping fingers, shouting for the server |
| Payment | Pay for each round as you go | Asking for the bill at the end of hours of drinking at the counter |
| Rounds | Participate, offer your turn, communicate if you opt out | Benefiting from rounds without ever paying for one |
| Tipping | Optional, often via “and one for yourself?” | Leaving large, ostentatious sums as in North America |
| Behavior | Conversation, humor, relative moderation of volume | Loud drunkenness, aggressiveness, filming without consent |
At Work: Frequent Implicit Expectations
| Domain | Expectations in the UK |
|---|---|
| Punctuality | Arrive 5–10 minutes early for meetings |
| Emails | Polite, concise tone, no mistakes, reply within 24 business hours |
| Criticizing an idea | Through questions, suggestions, softened formulations |
| Hours | Don’t boast if you stay late, value efficiency over presence |
| Humor | Self-deprecation welcome, targeted sarcasm to be used cautiously |
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Integrating into the UK does not mean abandoning your culture, but rather developing a form of ‘cultural bilingualism’. This involves understanding the real meaning of common expressions, deciphering irony, and respecting unspoken rules, while bringing your own sensitivity and personal perspective.
By observing, asking questions with curiosity, accepting that you won’t grasp everything immediately, and adopting a few key reflexes – queuing, politeness, discretion, self-directed humor – an expat soon discovers that behind British reserve often lies warmth, loyalty, and fiercely enjoyable humor.
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Cyril Jarnias is an independent expert in international wealth management with over 20 years of experience. As an expatriate himself, he is dedicated to helping individuals and business leaders build, protect, and pass on their wealth with complete peace of mind.
On his website, cyriljarnias.com, he shares his expertise on international real estate, offshore company formation, and expatriation.
Thanks to his expertise, he offers sound advice to optimize his clients' wealth management. Cyril Jarnias is also recognized for his appearances in many prestigious media outlets such as BFM Business, les Français de l’étranger, Le Figaro, Les Echos, and Mieux vivre votre argent, where he shares his knowledge and know-how in wealth management.
